To Move On Is Not that Easy for Boys

As life is the journey of constant challenges in your life, it keeps on coming your way usually.

But some event hit so hard you internally that they can even shake your entire personality. Yes as from the title it is way clear that I am talking about moving on from a relationship.

Usually boys carry the flirty nature, but some of them are silent though, and I was a silent one, who has his own way to live the life. I was man with one women, having been in different cast became the reason why they hated me!

It was just a little mess that I suddenly met her and somehow just in jokes I shared my number to her, we started talking each other, slowly became dependent emotionally on each other, and one fine day I couldn’t stop myself and said that I truly appreciate the time we had together and I believe to hold this gift of sudden relationship made by god to have forever with me. I never knew that what future this relationship can hold.

4 years passed on, I constantly craving to be in physical relationship with her but she was afraid I would leave her once I’ll do that all, but I was not that boy with that mentality, but this thinking has kept both of us separate, and nowhere its wrong to fantasize your partner, So intimacy was a important part for me, I wanted to explore her!

Her name was Shivani, I named her “Vani”, I often used to write my name on paper with her “Lavi+Vani= Doll”, and this doll was a imaginary character of the child that we were imagining to have in our life as gift when we will become soulmate.

Day passed on and we got intimate too! She turned to be a more than drug to me as I was a shy guy, never has been in touch of any girl even after having decent personality. So as she was my first girl I became insolvent, by all means for her.

Then her parent got to know about our affection towards each other, they started searching a boy for her, hearing this bring havoc in the life of us!

She was taken to a family of a boy, actually he was very strange type of man, girl told everything to her, that she love me, he heard and said, I don’t care who you are in relationship with, I want to marry you, she said I don’t want, He said doesn’t matter to me, talk to your parent they love me!

She tried to convince her parent not to marry, they beaten her for 6 months constantly, giving one time food to her keeping in one room, everyone in the family beating her!

I was a athiest, started visiting every temple, every Babas, majaars, Tantrik, even went to vashikaran specialist to somehow keep her in my life. But nothing helped, eventually she called me one day and said, her parents are saying they will marry the guy you love, please tell the name of guy you want to marry!

She asked me, should I tell my parent, what if they would be agree, I said I want to take all risk to have you in my life as you are the only girl in my life I love. She told my name, I was from the same locality, It became a tremendous quarrel in between me, her father her uncle her all brother, actually she was a daughter of a popular hooligan of that area, so he kept massive crowd with him.

He filed a case on me, and police started chasing me as I was imposed with multiple sections of Indian Panel Code, they called my father and said we will only take this case back if you will assure your son will leave the city and never contact our daughter, at the same time, they threaten her to keep me in the jail with imposing some dangerous unbailable Action or section of IPC.

They married her, she has a child now, I couldn’t move on!

Its been 3+ year I couldn’t move on, I tried but couldn’t, after 2 years I returned today in my house where I and her used to cuddle each other, memories haunts me, hits me again and again!

Life seems to be typical and moving on seems to be like walking on water.

Eventually I could understand moving on for a boy is never easy!

and Doll and Imaginary character of our daughter has confined to the imagination somewhere!

I have a question from god, why you got me with her if there was no future of this relationship!